Wandering

  After I put Nicole in a taxi at 4 am this morning (she was flying to Vienna to meet Katrina) I spent the day wandering.  Thoughts and questions came up in my loneliness as I dodged people in the street:  Why are we here?  Everyone needs connection whether or not they are aware of it.  Am I still desirable?  Why do we get old?
  I sat on a park bench in the Piazza del' Azeglio and communed with the trees as pigeon families strutted around me and felt much better even though I had no answers.  This was after I had a helathy little lunch at the Dolce Vegan cafe where I managed to lock myself in the bathroom.  When claustrophobic panic set in, I was about to start pounding on the door, but I forced myself to take some deep breaths and after I relaxed, the door unlocked magically.

   Heading back to my apartment, I passed the Giardino di Borgo Pinti Borgo, a little oasis of trees and gardens on the Borgo Pinti.  The gates were open and people were setting up chairs for a free concert.  "Woerdens Kamerkoor", an a cappella group from Holland, all dressed in white, were about to sing.  I sat and listened to them perform Mendelssohn, Monteverdi and a host of others and began to cry.  Listening to their angelic harmonies, I realized how fortunate I was to be where I was and at the end of the concert I thanked one of the singers and told her how touched I was by the concert.  However small, I had made a connection.